This is awful! How can this ALL be happening? There is so much fire around us we have ash flying through the air. There are 3 hurricanes barreling their way through the Atlantic, one of them imminently threatening Florida. I mean I have no one close to me that lives in Florida that hasn’t left and yet I cannot stop watching! And then, of course there is trump! Since the election in November I have lived with constant anger and anxiety…I wake up with a tightness in my chest and my teeth grinding. Is this a plan from the cosmos for me and my tribe? Is this the end days as predicted by so many? Yesterday I had a fellow islander call me an idiot online. I mean, really? An adult…a senior adult…called me an idiot for posting an article about Rush Limbaugh! Really?!? And did I ignore it and just block him? Nope. I responded. And then it began. I created my own little fire/hurricane and it was all about trump. I have begun to dislike him and everything he stands for to a point of almost being irrational….well, maybe not irrational, but I have certainly given him a much larger place in my heart, head and soul than he should have.
Which brings me to PTSD. This condition has been my constant companion throughout my life. I believe trauma enters our lives and unless we are equipped to deal with it, it becomes one’s touchstone, and actual comfort zone. I know what to expect and how to survive the pain in a stressful life. Or at least I did. Until now. I don’t know where to go or how to escape. I try to engage with people from “the other side” but to be honest…I don’t care to know how they came to embrace their theology…it seems to me to be one of belligerent unkindness. Why would anyone wish to follow Steve Bannon. He embodies an unhealthy hatefulness that seeps through his skin…literally! Or trump…a narcissistic fool who has nothing to claim but money….he seems to have too much to be able to lose everything and so he keeps going under and on, invading lives.